Update

I was so happy to see I had a comment on my last post! :) Thanks for reading and your comment, Power Perfect in Weakness!

Yesterday my period came.  So today I have been curling up with my heating pad and playing Bubble Shooter online.  If you haven't heard of it, I caution you now, because that game is very addicting.  My husband and I just beat it for the first time the other night and we were thrilled.  For a few days we thought it was impossible to beat.  Now I can win easily.  We aren't super into online games, it's just Bubble Shooter and of course Bubble Spinner is pretty fun too.  Anyway!

We decided to stay with our current health insurance plan.  Apparently we won't be saving any money by moving up to the comprehensive plan.  The premiums are ridiculous in that plan, so we want to stay with our current one. Even if it means we have a higher deductible, I think the numbers work out to saving money in the long run with this plan.  Since we now won't be waiting for a "better" insurance plan, we have given thought to moving forward with a recommendation from the Napro doctor for a surgical consult.

Last night my period was causing me a lot of pain and I told my husband I just wanted to get surgery as soon as possible.  I always worry about money though, so I was crying probably in part from having my period but also due to the realization that we'll find ourselves with a hefty bill if we do go through with surgery.  I know God will provide for us though.  He always has in the past.

Our Napro doctor gave us a few options, I can't remember if I posted about them in my last post, but they were esentially this:

I could have a surgery immediatley.
We could do charting to rule out other possible problems and then if needed, try surgery.
Or we could do charting as well as 6 months of medicinal therapy, and then if that all doesn't help, try surgery.

Since she thinks I have an 80 % chance of having endometriosis, a big part of me feels like I just want to have the surgery.  I could find myself with less painful periods and then God-willing even able to conceive.

So having given it thought, my husband and I decided to have a surgical consult next Friday.  At first it was going to be a month from now, and actually fell on the day I was due for my next period (yikes, pain while making long car trip?) so we decided to move it closer (I'm so impatient, so this works much better for me!) to the 28th.  My husband is taking the day off so we'll be driving about 3 hours to the surgeon and will try to make a day trip out of the visit so we can enjoy his time off as well.

I feel peaceful about this.  I want to move forward and lately I've been feeling like I want to move forward quicker than I normally prefer.  I guess I'm just ready to have answers and ready for us to start our family.  Any prayers you can offer for me next Friday would be so appreciated.  Though it's not like that is a surgery date, I just hope it all goes well and God will bless our efforts.  Sorry this post is kind of random and jumps all over the place.  I have to realize there are probably people reading this now, so I better try to write more coherently and not just stream of consciousness all the time!  God bless you readers!

Appointment

So we had our first appointment with the Napro doctor and it went well.  The doctor thinks I have about an 80 percent chance of having endometriosis.  My husband and I want to continue treatment there and may consider doing a surgery that was recommended.  This will all have to wait until the new year though, as our insurance is currently at the highest deductible offered through my husband's job.  Thankfully, we are in open enrollment now, so we can choose the higher premium plan that will allow us to pay co-pays for any doctor visits/surgery needed for next year.

I am so happy we are moving forward.  We plan to learn how to chart soon, so we'll be ready for the testing that may be needed next year.  Next year seems so far away, but it's only less than three months.  So, three more cycles to go and we will be on our way to finding out what is wrong.  Until now, I have been trying on my own to figure out if diet changes help and basically doing most of the research online myself.  It's been hard to know what is the right thing to do.  I've read so many nutrition and diet books geared towards optimum health.  So I'm happy to just be following orders now, because I can get carried away with trying to control everything myself.

My doctor confirmed that eating a vegetarian diet, as well as exercising and using a heating pad are all good ways to alleviate the pain during my periods and pain possibly due to endo. And, we have been avoiding dairy for a long time now, and that is supposedly good for all this as well.  Basically a no dairy, no gluten, and low animal protein diet is optimal.  The more veggies and fruits the better.  That seems to be the only consistent piece of information throughout all the diet and nutrition books written.  No one argues that one!

All in all, the first meeting went well.  Thank the good Lord!  I pray that God continues to guide us through this journey and all that comes with it.   I have complete trust that God will help us have the big family we dream of!

Hobbies

I started making my own cleaning supplies the other day.  The vinegar and baking soda have come in very handy.  Especially the vinegar.  It's in a lot of the recipes.  I'm happy that I'll be able to phase out our use of commercial cleaning supplies.  They're costly and I've read that they're often unsafe.  I am not working a job right now, so I have had plenty of time to read and find hobbies like this one.  Hobbies keep me busy during the day.  And thank goodness for our local library.  It has provided me hours of free reading enjoyment and given me inspirations for all my hobbies.

About not working.  I quit my full time job over a year ago.  I thought my husband and I would become pregnant quickly and since I wasn't especially happy at my job and my husband was able to support us, I took the leap and gave my notice. I am much happier not working.  I enjoy sleeping in really late and doing things around the house. It is hard sometimes though, when I feel like I am not doing anything meaningful or worthwhile.  I think the reason I'm always searching for a new hobby is because I don't know what I should be doing with myself and my time.  I feel lost.  I don't know what I'm going to do if months keep passing by and we find we are still not pregnant.

A part of me feels like I don't have a right to be feeling sad about not being pregnant yet because we have only been waiting a year and a half. I'm sure there are people reading this who have been waiting a lot longer than that.  It's still hard though.  It's hard not knowing when or if ever.  It's hard not knowing what I should be doing in the meantime and what I will do if we never have a baby.  What will my life with my husband look like?  I try not to think that far ahead, because I always get sad.  My husband and I always talked about wanting a big family and I am starting to realize that may not happen. 

Insert hobbies again.  I think they help distract me from feeling sad and worrying about the future, the two things that come very easily for me.  I have attempted quilt making, sewing skirts and now home-made cleaning products.  My new thing is I want to learn how to make soap.  I'm interested in cold process soap making, not the melt and pour type.  So maybe I will become proficient at making soap.  I could sell it and it could also be a really enjoyable hobby.  I can also get into this whole blogging thing.  So far, so good.

What helps you while you wait upon the Lord?