It's cold again here. The couple weeks we had of really nice warm weather have been put on hold for a little while. I think it should start getting warmer again next week and hopefully our weather just follows that trend.
I've felt a little yucky a few times, but it passes. Nothing like what I imagine morning sickness to be. I've also been noticing that I have major morning sweats now. They're annoying, but I guess it could be worse. I had been super thirsty, but my thirst has calmed down a little bit these past couple days. I'm trying not to over analyze my symptoms. I don't want them to disappear, because I know that can be a bad sign. But I also know that some women don't have very many symptoms early on or during their entire pregnancy. I need to remember that everyone is different and try not to compare or worry.
I've also been thinking a lot about my diet, again. Right now, my husband and I eat gluten free and mostly vegan. Sometimes, I feel somewhat self conscious about this, and worry I'm not going to be able to handle people's opinions or advice about our diet. Especially when, God willing, the baby arrives and we're at the point of transitioning to solid foods. I'm going to want to just introduce fruits and veggies and gluten free whole grains. No dairy, meat or processed foods. I want to breastfeed exclusively for the first year and then I want to supplement with breastfeeding through the second year, while introducing organic whole foods to my baby, little by little. Am I going to be confident enough to feed my family this way? I really want to be, but a small voice in my brain is very critical and doesn't trust myself. Ugh. If you have any words of support and encouragement for me, I would love it.
I can't believe Lent is almost over. Good Friday is only a week away! I cannot believe God has blessed us with a BABY this Lent!!! Is this real? Is this my life? It must be someone else who just became pregnant. It can't be me! Oh my goodness, it is. This is so crazy and so wonderfully amazing.
I'm thankful I made this blog and can share my complete joy with you here. I would love to meet all my readers some day, I know there have been so many blogger meet-ups, and they sound like so much fun!! If anyone lives in driving distance of Boston, let me know, I'd love to plan a get together!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Patience
I guess I'm going to be practicing patience no matter what stage of "waiting" I'm in. This kind of waiting does not compare at all to the wait for a pregnancy, though. Waiting for the call today was difficult, but I shouldn't even complain about it. Anyway, I just got the call. My HCG doubled from 323 to 671, which I guess is good because they like to see it double every two days. Thank you God! As for my progesterone, it went from 17.3 to 33. She told me to continue with the oral 200 mg of my progesterone supplement every night and to have my blood drawn again this coming Monday (a week from last blood draw) but this time she wants me to not take the supplement the night before my blood draw. I feel so confident in my doctor's care, I cannot express it enough. Thanks so much for praying for me. You are always in my prayers, as well. I'm praying for my prayer buddy, especially, that she is wonderfully blessed this Easter!!!!
Waiting and Praying
Please say a quick prayer that my doctor's office calls me back before they close today. I am waiting to hear the results of my Monday's blood draw. I will post them when they come in. Please God, allow my baby to grow and stay in one spot for the next nine months! St. Joseph, pray for us.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Thank you!
Thank you everyone for your sweet comments and support! They mean so much to me!! I am going again today to have my hcg and progesterone checked. We were able to have them both checked already on Saturday morning, too! The results were sent from the lab to my doctor that same day and I got a call from my doctor at 4pm! I couldn't believe how fast it was all happening and what a relief it was to get feedback so soon. She confirmed that I am indeed pregnant and told me my level of progesterone was at 17.3. She said she would like it at or above 20, but since I seemed to have found out so early (she said it was probably the earliest I could have found out from a home pregnancy test!) she thinks that's the reason it's lower than 20. She isn't very worried, but didn't want to take any chances, so she advised I take the prescription for progesterone that she had called in for me earlier that day. So I took 200 mg of oral progesterone after I got off the phone with her. It made me dizzy and sleepy, but she told me I could feel nauseous and tired, so I just ended up taking a nap.
I have to say, my Napro doctor is amazing and I am so thankful for her. I would recommend her to anyone - just leave a comment if you want her name and location!!! She works with people from all over the country, so don't worry if you're not in the same state, I'm not even in the same state she works in! I really feel like I'm in good hands and was so relieved to have her help me with getting a blood test done so soon and for calling in a prescription over the phone for me. So I've been taking the 200 mg of progesterone in the evening these past two nights. I guess it will depend on my blood results today if I'm able to discontinue the oral supplementation (I'm not sure I want to do that yet) or continue what I'm taking now or if I'll need to switch to injections...either way, I'm praying for good results!!
I'm a little nervous because it's still so early. I'm trying to be thankful to God and trust in Him completely. I haven't been feeling tired though and it worries me a little because that's kind of a "classic" sign, it seems. I have been feeling extra thirsty and going to the bathroom more, but besides a few mood swings, I don't really feel bad.
I'm actually feeling better now than I do normally. Maybe that's due to the fact that I'm drinking at least one organic greens powder drink each day, sometimes two. I also think eliminating gluten and dairy, as well as cutting out processed foods, has helped me immensely. For example, I used to snack on plain potato chips or tortilla chips with salsa all the time. There's no gluten in chips (just potatoes, salt and oil) so it was an easy snack, but I think I may have become a little addicted to them and was eating them way too much. Now, we've got no chips in our house. I missed them initially, but not anymore! In their place, I now eat whole fruits, brown rice and veggies. I love brown rice with avocado (doctor wanted me to try to put on a little weight so I try to eat an avocado each day now) and organic salsa. It's so good!!!! We've also cut out most animal products, except for a small amount of eggs in gluten free deserts. How that's helped with my fertility, I'm not sure, but it's definitely helped my complexion and I feel less sluggish when I get out of bed, go up and down stairs. In general, I think these diet changes have led me to consume more whole foods. We've been buying organic produce, and I think that's key. I still take a prenatal and B6, but feel I am also getting plenty of vitamins through whole foods and either my powdered green drink or a blended drink of fresh/frozen fruits and leafy green vegetables.
It's so funny, when it's morning now, I'm just AWAKE! I think it's part physical but also part psychological. Normally I would sleep late into the morning - mostly because I didn't have anything I needed to get up for, and it was sometimes a little depressing for me. But now I feel like I don't have the desire to sleep the morning away. I feel so happy and I feel so good physically, too!
If you're still waiting and reading this, I want to encourage you to have hope!! You are in my prayers and I also want to encourage you to pray to St. Joseph. I don't want to keep quiet about him because I believe so strongly in his powerful intercession and want you to, as well. I'm not alone in this opinion, at least two doctors of the church (Aquinas and St. Teresa of Avila) back me up on this one, so pray and trust in St. Joseph's humble and powerful intercession!! Also, I am now a firm believer in a gluten and dairy free diet. I also feel it's helpful all around to eat less processed foods. And, as this post from Hebrews inspired me to find a Napro doctor and start my own blog so I could get in on the prayer buddy action, I hope it will inspire you to do the same if you haven't already! May God bless you all and thank you SO much for your prayers and support. I am overjoyed to have made friends in this community of wonderful ladies!!
I have to say, my Napro doctor is amazing and I am so thankful for her. I would recommend her to anyone - just leave a comment if you want her name and location!!! She works with people from all over the country, so don't worry if you're not in the same state, I'm not even in the same state she works in! I really feel like I'm in good hands and was so relieved to have her help me with getting a blood test done so soon and for calling in a prescription over the phone for me. So I've been taking the 200 mg of progesterone in the evening these past two nights. I guess it will depend on my blood results today if I'm able to discontinue the oral supplementation (I'm not sure I want to do that yet) or continue what I'm taking now or if I'll need to switch to injections...either way, I'm praying for good results!!
I'm a little nervous because it's still so early. I'm trying to be thankful to God and trust in Him completely. I haven't been feeling tired though and it worries me a little because that's kind of a "classic" sign, it seems. I have been feeling extra thirsty and going to the bathroom more, but besides a few mood swings, I don't really feel bad.
I'm actually feeling better now than I do normally. Maybe that's due to the fact that I'm drinking at least one organic greens powder drink each day, sometimes two. I also think eliminating gluten and dairy, as well as cutting out processed foods, has helped me immensely. For example, I used to snack on plain potato chips or tortilla chips with salsa all the time. There's no gluten in chips (just potatoes, salt and oil) so it was an easy snack, but I think I may have become a little addicted to them and was eating them way too much. Now, we've got no chips in our house. I missed them initially, but not anymore! In their place, I now eat whole fruits, brown rice and veggies. I love brown rice with avocado (doctor wanted me to try to put on a little weight so I try to eat an avocado each day now) and organic salsa. It's so good!!!! We've also cut out most animal products, except for a small amount of eggs in gluten free deserts. How that's helped with my fertility, I'm not sure, but it's definitely helped my complexion and I feel less sluggish when I get out of bed, go up and down stairs. In general, I think these diet changes have led me to consume more whole foods. We've been buying organic produce, and I think that's key. I still take a prenatal and B6, but feel I am also getting plenty of vitamins through whole foods and either my powdered green drink or a blended drink of fresh/frozen fruits and leafy green vegetables.
It's so funny, when it's morning now, I'm just AWAKE! I think it's part physical but also part psychological. Normally I would sleep late into the morning - mostly because I didn't have anything I needed to get up for, and it was sometimes a little depressing for me. But now I feel like I don't have the desire to sleep the morning away. I feel so happy and I feel so good physically, too!
If you're still waiting and reading this, I want to encourage you to have hope!! You are in my prayers and I also want to encourage you to pray to St. Joseph. I don't want to keep quiet about him because I believe so strongly in his powerful intercession and want you to, as well. I'm not alone in this opinion, at least two doctors of the church (Aquinas and St. Teresa of Avila) back me up on this one, so pray and trust in St. Joseph's humble and powerful intercession!! Also, I am now a firm believer in a gluten and dairy free diet. I also feel it's helpful all around to eat less processed foods. And, as this post from Hebrews inspired me to find a Napro doctor and start my own blog so I could get in on the prayer buddy action, I hope it will inspire you to do the same if you haven't already! May God bless you all and thank you SO much for your prayers and support. I am overjoyed to have made friends in this community of wonderful ladies!!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Our Little Announcement on the Feast of the Annunciation
Yesterday morning, my husband and I found out that I am pregnant!
Thank you, God!!
Thank you, St. Joseph!!
Thank you, Grandma in heaven!!
Thank you, my lenten prayer buddy!!
Thank you, to all my readers praying for me!!
Thank you, Hebrews, who inspired me to seek out a Napro doctor!!
We are bursting with pure joy and happiness over here!!!!!! I am really, truly, pregnant and this is just so amazing!!!!
Please pray for our little one to stay put and grow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, God!!
Thank you, St. Joseph!!
Thank you, Grandma in heaven!!
Thank you, my lenten prayer buddy!!
Thank you, to all my readers praying for me!!
Thank you, Hebrews, who inspired me to seek out a Napro doctor!!
We are bursting with pure joy and happiness over here!!!!!! I am really, truly, pregnant and this is just so amazing!!!!
Please pray for our little one to stay put and grow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Early Morning
Thank you all so much for your prayers. My husband just left for work and I couldn't really fall back sleep, so here I am. Since yesterday I've been saying a prayer that has helped me calm my worries. Each time I'm in the bathroom and I could possibly see the start of my period, I've been saying, "Lord Jesus, walk me through this, I'm not strong enough". And I've also been talking to St. Joseph more and asking him to beg Jesus for a healthy pregnancy for my husband and I. I really don't have anything else to do but wait.
I must say, I'm so happy I started praying again to St. Joseph. I prayed to him a lot when I was single and even asked him for specific qualities that I desired in my future spouse. I think I even wrote down a whole list of things I hoped my husband would be. Patient, generous, loving, funny, gentle, smart, hardworking and so forth. Well, I'm happy to report that my husband is all of those things and so much more. I really couldn't have picked a better person for myself than my dear hubby. And I thank St. Joseph for that. He also helped me when I was struggling with anxiety before my wedding. I prayed fervently to him every day. I brought a pocketbook sized prayer book, "Favorite Prayers to St. Joseph", into work and was able to read through some of my favorite prayers each day. I am confident that he helped me to be fully ready for my wedding day and have a peace beyond anything I dreamed. For some reason, I kind of became lazy about praying to him. I guess it's really true that when things are going well, it's easy for a life of prayer to atrophy. I once heard that in the spiritual life, there is no "staying the same". We're always either growing closer to God or falling farther away. That struck me, because it reminded me that the spiritual life takes work and constant striving to grow closer to God, for we don't stay on a horizontal plane. We're always moving in on direction or the other. Isn't that something? Back to St. Joseph, I just love him so much. He is a humble Saint, not having much said about him in the bible, but the mere fact that he was chosen above any other man, to guard and protect Mary and Jesus while on earth, is just mind-blowing. God must think very highly of him and, since he was foster father to our Lord, how can Jesus refuse him any request?
Here are some of my favorite quotes written about him:
Words of St. Thomas Aquinas:
"Some Saints are privileged to extend to us their patronage with particular efficacy in certain needs, but not in others; but our holy patron St. Joseph has the power to assist us in all cases, in every necessity, in every undertaking."
St. Teresa's "Guarantee". Words of St. Teresa of Avila:
"To other Saints Our Lord seems to have given power to succor us in some special necessity--but to this glorious Saint, I know by experience, He has given the power to help us in all. Our Lord would have us understand that as He was subject to St. Joseph on earth--for St. Joseph, bearing the title of father and being His guardian, could command Him--so now in Heaven Our Lord grants all his petitions. I have asked others to recommend themselves to St. Joseph, and they, too, know the same this by experience..." -Autobiography, VI, 9
I thought this one was pretty neat, especially since the Feast of the Annunciation is this Sunday:
The Vision of St. Gertrud
Once, on the feast of the Annunciation, St. Gertrude had a vision during which the Heavenly Mother revealed to her the glory of her spouse, St. Joseph, in order to awaken in the Saint a greater love for him and to encourage her to have confidence in his intercession. Of this vision St. Gertrude wrote:
"I saw Heaven opened and St. Joseph sitting upon a magnificent throne. I felt myself wonderfully affected when, each time his name was mentioned, all the Saints made a profound inclination toward him, showing by the serenity and sweetness of their looks that they rejoiced with him on account of his exalted dignity."
And finally, if the above hasn't convinced you to pray to St. Joseph more, here are words of St. Alphonsus Liguori:
"Since we all must die, we should cherish a special devotion to St. Joseph, that he may obtain for us a happy death. All Christians regard him as the advocate of the dying who had honored him during their life, and that for three reasons:
'First, because Jesus Christ loved him not only as a friend, but as a father, and on this account his mediation is far more efficacious than that of any other Saint.
Second, because St. Joseph has obtained special power against the evil spirits, who tempt us with redoubled vigor at the hour of death.
Third, the assistance given St. Joseph at his death by Jesus and Mary obtained for him the right to secure a holy and peaceful death for his servants. Hence, if they invoke him at the hour of death he will not only help them, but he will also obtain for them the assistance of Jesus and Mary.'"
Well, that's all for now. I'm thankful to a friend who emailed me on his feast day with that special prayer I posted a couple days ago. St. Joseph has helped me so much in the past, I'm looking forward to getting back into a habit of praying to him. I hope this post has encouraged you to remember him when you pray, too! I love thinking that Jesus cannot refuse any of his requests!
Wow, this post is really long. Time to go.
I must say, I'm so happy I started praying again to St. Joseph. I prayed to him a lot when I was single and even asked him for specific qualities that I desired in my future spouse. I think I even wrote down a whole list of things I hoped my husband would be. Patient, generous, loving, funny, gentle, smart, hardworking and so forth. Well, I'm happy to report that my husband is all of those things and so much more. I really couldn't have picked a better person for myself than my dear hubby. And I thank St. Joseph for that. He also helped me when I was struggling with anxiety before my wedding. I prayed fervently to him every day. I brought a pocketbook sized prayer book, "Favorite Prayers to St. Joseph", into work and was able to read through some of my favorite prayers each day. I am confident that he helped me to be fully ready for my wedding day and have a peace beyond anything I dreamed. For some reason, I kind of became lazy about praying to him. I guess it's really true that when things are going well, it's easy for a life of prayer to atrophy. I once heard that in the spiritual life, there is no "staying the same". We're always either growing closer to God or falling farther away. That struck me, because it reminded me that the spiritual life takes work and constant striving to grow closer to God, for we don't stay on a horizontal plane. We're always moving in on direction or the other. Isn't that something? Back to St. Joseph, I just love him so much. He is a humble Saint, not having much said about him in the bible, but the mere fact that he was chosen above any other man, to guard and protect Mary and Jesus while on earth, is just mind-blowing. God must think very highly of him and, since he was foster father to our Lord, how can Jesus refuse him any request?
Here are some of my favorite quotes written about him:
Words of St. Thomas Aquinas:
"Some Saints are privileged to extend to us their patronage with particular efficacy in certain needs, but not in others; but our holy patron St. Joseph has the power to assist us in all cases, in every necessity, in every undertaking."
St. Teresa's "Guarantee". Words of St. Teresa of Avila:
"To other Saints Our Lord seems to have given power to succor us in some special necessity--but to this glorious Saint, I know by experience, He has given the power to help us in all. Our Lord would have us understand that as He was subject to St. Joseph on earth--for St. Joseph, bearing the title of father and being His guardian, could command Him--so now in Heaven Our Lord grants all his petitions. I have asked others to recommend themselves to St. Joseph, and they, too, know the same this by experience..." -Autobiography, VI, 9
I thought this one was pretty neat, especially since the Feast of the Annunciation is this Sunday:
The Vision of St. Gertrud
Once, on the feast of the Annunciation, St. Gertrude had a vision during which the Heavenly Mother revealed to her the glory of her spouse, St. Joseph, in order to awaken in the Saint a greater love for him and to encourage her to have confidence in his intercession. Of this vision St. Gertrude wrote:
"I saw Heaven opened and St. Joseph sitting upon a magnificent throne. I felt myself wonderfully affected when, each time his name was mentioned, all the Saints made a profound inclination toward him, showing by the serenity and sweetness of their looks that they rejoiced with him on account of his exalted dignity."
And finally, if the above hasn't convinced you to pray to St. Joseph more, here are words of St. Alphonsus Liguori:
"Since we all must die, we should cherish a special devotion to St. Joseph, that he may obtain for us a happy death. All Christians regard him as the advocate of the dying who had honored him during their life, and that for three reasons:
'First, because Jesus Christ loved him not only as a friend, but as a father, and on this account his mediation is far more efficacious than that of any other Saint.
Second, because St. Joseph has obtained special power against the evil spirits, who tempt us with redoubled vigor at the hour of death.
Third, the assistance given St. Joseph at his death by Jesus and Mary obtained for him the right to secure a holy and peaceful death for his servants. Hence, if they invoke him at the hour of death he will not only help them, but he will also obtain for them the assistance of Jesus and Mary.'"
Well, that's all for now. I'm thankful to a friend who emailed me on his feast day with that special prayer I posted a couple days ago. St. Joseph has helped me so much in the past, I'm looking forward to getting back into a habit of praying to him. I hope this post has encouraged you to remember him when you pray, too! I love thinking that Jesus cannot refuse any of his requests!
Wow, this post is really long. Time to go.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Please Pray
Well, I still haven't gotten my period, but it could come any time now. Tomorrow I will be 15 dpo. I haven't noticed any more spotting. It happened twice yesterday morning and then a very small amount again that afternoon. I have no idea what caused it and for some reason I'm afraid to find out. :(
I must say I've been feeling rather hopeful each time I've noticed the spotting, which is funny because I'm not even sure it's something to be hopeful about.
Oh prayer buddy, please pray for me!
Jesus, I trust in You!
I must say I've been feeling rather hopeful each time I've noticed the spotting, which is funny because I'm not even sure it's something to be hopeful about.
Oh prayer buddy, please pray for me!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
More Spotting
This morning I noticed more spotting, only this time it was bright red. Is that a bad sign? I woke up to use the bathroom around 3 am and noticed it then, which made it super hard for me to fall back to sleep, wondering if this could possibly be it. Then when my husband left for work, I used the bathroom again and noticed more spotting. Both times it was only on my tissue. Usually if I'm starting my period, I notice it on my underwear first. Right now I'm only on cd22 and 13 dpo. What does this mean?! I usually have a 15 day LP, though one month it was only 14. But to get my period this early, on cd 22, that's really never happened to me before! I think 26 days was my shortest cycle ever. I hope the HSG test I had last month didn't messed up my cycles and cause them to be irregular now. Has anyone had that happen to them? Or maybe it cleared something out and has allowed me to conceive? I think I may try to get some more sleep this morning, even though I really don't feel tired at all after this. Ahhh! St. Joseph, pray for us!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Beautiful Day
What a beautiful day we're having here today! Spring has definitely sprung here and I couldn't be happier! Yesterday I was raking our yard and clearing out the front bushes/garden area. It looks a lot better now. I was out there wearing shorts and a tee, and then went in to change into a tank top. I was thrilled to be dressed as if it were summer on March 19th.
I hope everyone had a wonderful St. Joseph's feast day. I wish I had posted the prayer reminder earlier, but hopefully some of you caught it while it was still the 19th. I included all of your intentions when making my requests, so fear not! :)
I think the reason I tested negative on Sunday may be because it was far too early. It was also a dollar tree test, so I hope that by waiting longer and if necessary getting a better test, it will be positive! Today I'm on cd21 and 12 dpo. So I think I will plan to test this Friday, if I make it that long. If my period still hasn't arrived and I test negative, then I'll test again on day 17 or 18. Waiting is so hard, but I guess there's no better time to wait than during lent. St. Joseph please hear my prayers said on your special day and grant me my request! Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us. St. Joseph, pray for us.
I hope everyone had a wonderful St. Joseph's feast day. I wish I had posted the prayer reminder earlier, but hopefully some of you caught it while it was still the 19th. I included all of your intentions when making my requests, so fear not! :)
I think the reason I tested negative on Sunday may be because it was far too early. It was also a dollar tree test, so I hope that by waiting longer and if necessary getting a better test, it will be positive! Today I'm on cd21 and 12 dpo. So I think I will plan to test this Friday, if I make it that long. If my period still hasn't arrived and I test negative, then I'll test again on day 17 or 18. Waiting is so hard, but I guess there's no better time to wait than during lent. St. Joseph please hear my prayers said on your special day and grant me my request! Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us. St. Joseph, pray for us.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Special Prayer for Today
I wanted to share this with you all before the day is over:
St. Teresa of Avila (Autobiography) re: St. Joseph
"For some years now, I have made some request of him (St. Joseph) every year on HIS FEAST (March 19), and I have always had it granted. If my petition is in any way ill directed, he directs it aright for my greater good..."
"I ONLY BEG, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THAT ANYONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE ME PUT HIM TO THE TEST, and he will see by experience what great advantages come from his commending himself to this glorious patriarch and having devotion to him!"
(Quotes from the Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila)
I have just finished writing my request and feel confident in the humble power of our dear St. Joseph. Have a good night!
St. Teresa of Avila (Autobiography) re: St. Joseph
"For some years now, I have made some request of him (St. Joseph) every year on HIS FEAST (March 19), and I have always had it granted. If my petition is in any way ill directed, he directs it aright for my greater good..."
"I ONLY BEG, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THAT ANYONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE ME PUT HIM TO THE TEST, and he will see by experience what great advantages come from his commending himself to this glorious patriarch and having devotion to him!"
(Quotes from the Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila)
I have just finished writing my request and feel confident in the humble power of our dear St. Joseph. Have a good night!
St. Joseph
Happy Feast day everyone! My husband and I have a special love for St. Joseph, so I'm praying for all of you today.
I've been a bit emotional these past few days. Waiting to see if my period arrives is so tough. This cycle seems different than my past ones, and I am hopeful, but feel afraid to be let down again. I showed my charts to my husband last night and wanted to see what he thought. The truth is, no matter how much we analyze the charts, only time will tell and that means patience. And we all know that patience is not easy!
I seemed to ovulate early this past month. Usually it's around day 11 and this month it was day 9. Then on cd 15 (6 dpo) I had the spotting. I only noticed it once and it was light pink. Compared to other cycles, this one had only two or three days max of fertile cm and then the peak day. Other cycles I have around 5. I'm not sure what else the spotting could be from. Husband and I had relations (I don't really like that word, but can't think of a more internet friendly one)on peak day and then not around the day I noticed the spotting. I'm hoping these things are all good. What do you think?
Yesterday I took a test (the dollar store kind) and it was negative. I'm pretty sure it was too early, but felt like trying. It's cd20 today and 11 dpo. I think I should wait a few more days to retest. Or perhaps I could try waiting until after I am late again (oh what a concept), that seems more reliable, but we will see if I can be patient long enough.
Thank you all so much for your prayers!
I've been a bit emotional these past few days. Waiting to see if my period arrives is so tough. This cycle seems different than my past ones, and I am hopeful, but feel afraid to be let down again. I showed my charts to my husband last night and wanted to see what he thought. The truth is, no matter how much we analyze the charts, only time will tell and that means patience. And we all know that patience is not easy!
I seemed to ovulate early this past month. Usually it's around day 11 and this month it was day 9. Then on cd 15 (6 dpo) I had the spotting. I only noticed it once and it was light pink. Compared to other cycles, this one had only two or three days max of fertile cm and then the peak day. Other cycles I have around 5. I'm not sure what else the spotting could be from. Husband and I had relations (I don't really like that word, but can't think of a more internet friendly one)on peak day and then not around the day I noticed the spotting. I'm hoping these things are all good. What do you think?
Yesterday I took a test (the dollar store kind) and it was negative. I'm pretty sure it was too early, but felt like trying. It's cd20 today and 11 dpo. I think I should wait a few more days to retest. Or perhaps I could try waiting until after I am late again (oh what a concept), that seems more reliable, but we will see if I can be patient long enough.
Thank you all so much for your prayers!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Late Night
Ugh. I can't sleep. I was so fumed earlier over an email I received from a relative of mine. My husband and I were all set to go to a friends house and I knew I shouldn't read the email before we left, but did it anyway. When will I learn? As expected, my whole mood went from great to terrible in no time. I've gotten upset after reading emails from this same person in the past, so I really should've known better. Sometimes I just can't help it and my curiosity wins.
So now I can't sleep and I'm downstairs reading some of the book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend (sp?) I feel like I've referenced this book a lot recently because of this relative of mine. But I must say, it's a good book, especially if you are like me and find it hard to say no to someone, stand your ground, not feel guilty and all that good stuff.
I realized that it was my problem I was so upset with her email, and that I am the only one who can take responsibility for my feelings. She isn't making me feel anything. That may seem obvious to some of you, but for me it's something I keep having to remind myself over and over again. So when she writes things that seem to imply that she thinks her and her husband are holier because of all the struggles their going through, it hurts, but that doesn't mean it's true. God is the judge of holiness; humans are not. And since when is bragging about your holiness or the heavy crosses that you bear something that automatically makes you saintly? Humility is key. Take Saint Therese for example. All the other nuns in her convent thought she was just another nun. Nothing special about Sister Therese, she became a nun, lived in a convent, and died - I think that's what another nun described her as. Little did they know the interior life of this nun. For that's where it all happened. Not for the world to see or judge. And certainly, Therese wasn't talking about herself as if she were anything special. In fact, she decided inwardly that she could never possibly be a "great" saint, she could only be a humble little flower for God. Oh, there is so much beauty to her spirituality, I could go on forever. And, look, she's been made Doctor of the Church! She must have had something right.
I reread the email again and it didn't make me as mad this time. Gosh, I'm so glad I didn't reply back with what I had wanted to at the time. My sensible husband can be thanked for that one, because it wouldn't have been too charitable of me! Sigh. Oh dear Jesus, please help me not pay attention to the emails that upset me. Please help me to guard my heart and keep my boundaries with this person because my peace is so easily upset by her. My peace is too precious, I need to be watchful. Please help me avoid those ways and please help me to keep my focus on you! You are my judge and you know my heart.
So now I can't sleep and I'm downstairs reading some of the book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend (sp?) I feel like I've referenced this book a lot recently because of this relative of mine. But I must say, it's a good book, especially if you are like me and find it hard to say no to someone, stand your ground, not feel guilty and all that good stuff.
I realized that it was my problem I was so upset with her email, and that I am the only one who can take responsibility for my feelings. She isn't making me feel anything. That may seem obvious to some of you, but for me it's something I keep having to remind myself over and over again. So when she writes things that seem to imply that she thinks her and her husband are holier because of all the struggles their going through, it hurts, but that doesn't mean it's true. God is the judge of holiness; humans are not. And since when is bragging about your holiness or the heavy crosses that you bear something that automatically makes you saintly? Humility is key. Take Saint Therese for example. All the other nuns in her convent thought she was just another nun. Nothing special about Sister Therese, she became a nun, lived in a convent, and died - I think that's what another nun described her as. Little did they know the interior life of this nun. For that's where it all happened. Not for the world to see or judge. And certainly, Therese wasn't talking about herself as if she were anything special. In fact, she decided inwardly that she could never possibly be a "great" saint, she could only be a humble little flower for God. Oh, there is so much beauty to her spirituality, I could go on forever. And, look, she's been made Doctor of the Church! She must have had something right.
I reread the email again and it didn't make me as mad this time. Gosh, I'm so glad I didn't reply back with what I had wanted to at the time. My sensible husband can be thanked for that one, because it wouldn't have been too charitable of me! Sigh. Oh dear Jesus, please help me not pay attention to the emails that upset me. Please help me to guard my heart and keep my boundaries with this person because my peace is so easily upset by her. My peace is too precious, I need to be watchful. Please help me avoid those ways and please help me to keep my focus on you! You are my judge and you know my heart.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Hope
This evening something caught me by surprise. There was a light pink spot on my bathroom tissue. I was surprised and immediately thought, this could be implantation! I actually brought the tissue to my husband and went on about how I am P+6 today and I think that implantation occurs around this time. I remember reading somewhere that it could be between 6 to 10 days after ovulation. I would check that, but I'm not supposed to be browsing the internet until Sunday. I figured updating my blog wasn't "browsing" so that's why I'm here. :) Plus, this is kind of important! I need to alert my prayer buddy to keep praying whatever she is praying and to let all my readers know to continue their prayers, too. :) But really, I'm kind of not sure what to think. I have been feeling pretty normal, though my husband and I did have a pretty big fight the other night over a tablet computer. Maybe that could be another post, it was silly really. The past few days I've been having 6CPY 1x each day and haven't noticed much besides feeling tired some days and not others, and feeling more hungry on some days (like yesterday) and not too hungry on other days (today).
I know, I said I'd try extra hard not to analyze each symptom, but I've never had pink show up on my tissue before this. Nothing even like it outside of my period. So it's made me rethink everything that's happened in the past few days. Well, it's in God's hands now and I just need to wait. I'm remaining hopeful and am praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe!
I'm offering my prayers and waiting up for you all and especially my dear lenten prayer buddy.
I know, I said I'd try extra hard not to analyze each symptom, but I've never had pink show up on my tissue before this. Nothing even like it outside of my period. So it's made me rethink everything that's happened in the past few days. Well, it's in God's hands now and I just need to wait. I'm remaining hopeful and am praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe!
I'm offering my prayers and waiting up for you all and especially my dear lenten prayer buddy.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Springing Forward
Today is spring forward! I love this time of the year. The next big day is St. Patrick's day and then the first day of spring. I used to not the like month of March, but now I'm changing my mind. March is good because it's the beginning of everything good to come, weather wise. I love April for that reason, too. From there is just keeps getting better. :) May is special to my heart because it's my birthday month and my anniversary month. There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing tulips pop up through the cold dark earth with their bright and beautiful colors. They are so simple, I love them. The sun starts to feel warmer and it takes up a different spot in the sky and you know it's a spring and summer sun in the making.
I'm feeling much better since my last post. Thanks for all the encouragement and support. I'm sticking with my diet because I AM feeling better and I can't ignore what my body tells me. You readers are the best. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not crazy and thanks for helping to put my worries to rest.
Right now I'm on P+3. I feel hopeful again this month. The day after my peak day, I was really tired and noticed some pains in my stomach. I was expecting to have a later peak day, because I didn't have too much peak quality cm prior to peak day and I usually have more days of that. Would fertile type cm just stop if conception occurred? I'm feeling really hopeful!! I know the first phase of a cycle varies more than the second half, but I feel like even my first phase has become somewhat predictable. I guess time will tell. I'm not really tired anymore, it was only the first day after my peak, so maybe it was nothing. I will try my best not to analyze each and every tiny thing over the next week, but boy is that hard. Prayer buddy, please pray for my intention! I want to find out I'm pregnant this Easter and I want to have a baby on or around December 12, 2012, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe! Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us! Does anyone else determine what their hypothetical due date would be? Hoping I'm not really weird! :)
I'm feeling much better since my last post. Thanks for all the encouragement and support. I'm sticking with my diet because I AM feeling better and I can't ignore what my body tells me. You readers are the best. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not crazy and thanks for helping to put my worries to rest.
Right now I'm on P+3. I feel hopeful again this month. The day after my peak day, I was really tired and noticed some pains in my stomach. I was expecting to have a later peak day, because I didn't have too much peak quality cm prior to peak day and I usually have more days of that. Would fertile type cm just stop if conception occurred? I'm feeling really hopeful!! I know the first phase of a cycle varies more than the second half, but I feel like even my first phase has become somewhat predictable. I guess time will tell. I'm not really tired anymore, it was only the first day after my peak, so maybe it was nothing. I will try my best not to analyze each and every tiny thing over the next week, but boy is that hard. Prayer buddy, please pray for my intention! I want to find out I'm pregnant this Easter and I want to have a baby on or around December 12, 2012, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe! Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us! Does anyone else determine what their hypothetical due date would be? Hoping I'm not really weird! :)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Confused
Well, I did make it to P+17 but ended up getting my period late that night. It started with really light spotting and I thought there could still be hope, maybe this won't turn out to be my period but just spotting. But the next morning I needed motrin and confirmed my period started the night before.
I don't know why I was late this cycle. My LP is usually pretty stable and only once was P+16. I guess P+17 is not that much later, but to me it seemed like a big deal. Plus with my faint/throwing up episode a week prior, and normal HSG results, I feel like I had more hope than other cycles. And still nothing. What does this mean? Am I doing something wrong? Is there reason to have hope this new cycle or the next? Is my diet the problem? I feel so confused. I feel like I'm trying to fine tune my diet so much and then I question myself, maybe my diet is part of the problem. I know people have relief from their period pains when they avoid both gluten and dairy, but don't people say that it's good to eat lots of dairy when you're trying to get pregnant? Ugh! So much conflicting advice, it makes me crazy! I just want to forget everything diet related, and just eat whatever I want. It doesn't seem to be helping much anyway. But then again, I do have less painful periods while avoiding gluten and dairy. Ahh, I'm so confused. I just want to do whats right and what will most likely lead to a pregnancy. Isn't that what we all want? I hope I'm not avoiding foods that would help me conceive. Any suggestions or advice?
I don't know why I was late this cycle. My LP is usually pretty stable and only once was P+16. I guess P+17 is not that much later, but to me it seemed like a big deal. Plus with my faint/throwing up episode a week prior, and normal HSG results, I feel like I had more hope than other cycles. And still nothing. What does this mean? Am I doing something wrong? Is there reason to have hope this new cycle or the next? Is my diet the problem? I feel so confused. I feel like I'm trying to fine tune my diet so much and then I question myself, maybe my diet is part of the problem. I know people have relief from their period pains when they avoid both gluten and dairy, but don't people say that it's good to eat lots of dairy when you're trying to get pregnant? Ugh! So much conflicting advice, it makes me crazy! I just want to forget everything diet related, and just eat whatever I want. It doesn't seem to be helping much anyway. But then again, I do have less painful periods while avoiding gluten and dairy. Ahh, I'm so confused. I just want to do whats right and what will most likely lead to a pregnancy. Isn't that what we all want? I hope I'm not avoiding foods that would help me conceive. Any suggestions or advice?
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